One of the Boys

SETTING: Interrogation room.
AT RISE: J sitting. DETECTIVE in plain clothes looming over him.

DETECTIVE
What is your name?

J
J.

DETECTIVE
I know your name.
You're married to B.
You have four children: C, D, F and R.
You are Vice President for a reputable company.
You are wealthy and socially prominent.
You just returned from a prolonged business trip
in South America.

J.
Yes.
Why am I being held here?

DETECTIVE
You aren't being held.
You haven't been arrested.
Has anyone read you your rights?
If they had, that was wrong.
You haven't been arrested.
What makes you think you've been arrested?
Have you done anything for which you should be arrested?

J
No.

DETECTIVE
What kind of car do you drive?
Is your wife a good cook?
How long have you been happily married?
These long business trips, you got a girlfriend somewhere?
When did you become one of the boys?

J
What?
I don't understand.
What are you talking about, one of the boys?
Am I being accused of something?
Do you have a cigarette?
I could use a cigarette.
If I'm not being arrested, why can't I call my wife?

DETECTIVE
There's no use denying it.
We have a sworn statement from a man
who accuses you
of having relations with him.

J
This is absurd.

DETECTIVE
(reading)
"I met J in a public bathroom.
J had confessed to me
he had always been attracted to the thought
of masturbation,
and frequented pubic bathrooms
in the hope of seeing someone doing it.
Late one night, it was the middle of the night,
I went in knowing some one would be there.
It was a public bathroom known to be frequented
by sodomists.
I walked in and saw J by the urinal,
standing as if he was urinating.
He wasn't urinating:
he had his member in his hand
and moving it up and down the shaft.
He invited me over
and we mutually stroked one another
until we had---"

J
Stop!

DETECTIVE
You have something to say now?

J
I am a cultured person with no previous police experience.
I haven't even had a traffic ticket.
When I was an adolescent,
I had been made a victim of my music teacher.
A man old enough to be my father.
I had no idea what could occur between men:
I only knew what was moral and immoral behavior
with women.
The music teacher had a good reputation,
and was employed by my parents.
My father was harsh and domineering;
I lived in fear of him.
The music teacher was tender,
and I was especially responsive to his
affectionate, gentle embraces.
I married,
but could never forget the music teacher.
I can't help but reach out for his hands,
in other men.
I have never offended my wife or any other woman;
my sexual behavior has been above reproach.

DETECTIVE
This is the Vice Squad:
according to us,
according to the law,
you are an
idle, lewd and dissolute person.
You will be charged with sexual misconduct,
publicly branded for the protection of society,
and most likely sentenced to two years hard labor.
Your life is over.

J
I didn't know it was wrong.

DETECTIVE
Ignorance is no excuse.
Pleasure is no excuse.

J
It was more than pleasure.
It was fulfillment.
Even if I couldn't climax,
even if I was humiliated and
felt like a dog rummaging through garbage,
I at least felt at home in the garbage.
I never felt that with my wife and four children.

DETECTIVE
You are obviously suffering from a psychological disorder.
Schizophrenia, neurosis, depression.
With the testimony of a doctor,
we can have your prison sentence overturned,
and as an alternative,
perform on you an operation
that would result in emasculation.
The results of this operation have been 100% effective,
Sex offenders in the past have lost
their unnatural tendencies that were causing them
to commit wretched crimes.
After the operation,
you will be able to go home,
and feel at home.
You will be normal.
What do you say?
I know what you will say.
Now, on this pad,
make a list of names of men
you have committed crimes with.
Include dates, places, and explicit details.
Thank you, J.
It is true what I have heard about you:
you are a philanthropist and a gentleman.

END OF SCENE