Studying feminist criticism for the past ten years has made me aware of an absent dialogue: fucking hurts women.
I don't believe in the sexually free woman anymore. I think it's a feminist myth. The women I have known have been sexually active not as some sort of act of liberation, but as an act of enslavement to men. Almost everyone has regretted their first time. Almost everyone can't usually have an orgasm. Almost everyone has been in a situation where someone who is "sexually empowered" can navigate a storm safely, and has been sunk. Most women have been raped: not in the knife to the throat way, but in the manipulative, excessive male pressure way, or in the date rape situation way. Women who have one night stands are generally emotionally empty or self-medicating using the joyful chemicals the brain releases during illicit, exciting sexual encounters. And no one is cool with their body or celebrates their vagina. The Vagina Monologues is old-school feminist fantasy. Feminists told us we could have as much sex as we wished, even wrote books on the mechanics. But no one told us of the emotional dangers. Fucking is like ancient Roman make-up. It accentuated a woman's face in a gorgeous way, but it was all made with lead.
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