You don't "have to" do anything. If you do something it's because you want to. Own up to it. Take responsibility for your life and don't try to push it on yourself.
People will say that they drive in two hour traffic every day to a job they hate because they HAVE TO support their family. That's bullshit. You do it because you WANT to work that miserable job and sit in that miserable traffic and support the family. You do it because you want to do that rather than anything else. Because you're a chicken shit and you're too afraid to change your fucking life.
But of course, change is painful.